Mental Health
Is it a coincidence that Mother’s Day falls in May, the month dedicated to Mental Health Awareness?
Every May, conversations around mental health aim to reduce stigma and encourage people to seek help. According to the World Health Organization, more than one billion people globally live with a mental health condition. In Kenya, the Kenya Medical Research Institute (KEMRI) reported in 2024 that one in four Kenyans struggles with mental illness. Those numbers are staggering. They remind us that mental health is not distant or abstract - it lives among us, within our families, workplaces, and communities. If you look around a room of four people, statistically one may be silently struggling.
For the last four months, I have been writing a personal account of my family history. Some days have been emotionally exhausting, forcing me to pause and ground myself before continuing. The story begins in September 1995, the year I learned how close any family can come to becoming part of a statistic.
My parents had five children. One of them, my older sister Shiru, was battling a mental illness we did not recognize and at 28 years old, she died by suicide, leaving behind a three-year-old daughter. I therefore cannot stop wondering if it's any coincidence that Mother’s Day falls in the mental awareness month.
Shiru did not display any symptoms of mental illness which made her death ever more puzzling and heartbreaking at the same time. The fact that she left no note of substance left us with many unanswered questions. None of which, even if they were answered, would ever bring her back nor ease the pain.
It took me more than two decades to fully recognize that her death was the result of mental illness. For years, I carried bitterness, anger, and guilt. I blamed myself for not noticing the signs. I blamed her boyfriend, my parents, and almost anyone else I could think of. How could all of us miss what one person was silently carrying?
When people are going through tough times, they don’t always have the language to express what they feel, and sometimes they don’t feel like they want to share with others. Yet silence often makes the weight heavier. It took me years to allow myself to be vulnerable enough to share my own struggles and learn that a problem shared truly can become lighter.
I remember sometime in July 2016 believing that how I felt was simply part of life. It was my friend Melba who gently pointed out that I needed professional help. During that conversation, she also helped me process Shiru’s death through a different lens. That moment changed how I viewed mental health. It made me more alert to emotional struggles we often dismiss as normal life experiences simply because we have been taught to endure them. Resilience alone does not heal everything.
There's a song by Marshmello and Demi Lovato that says ‘it’s ok not to be ok….when you’re down and you feel ashamed’’. There are times when you cannot string together a prayer beyond the Lord’s Prayer. I would add that in addition to saying it’s ok not to be ok, I’d say, it’s ok TO SAY you’re not ok. Allowing people to help is not weakness; it is courage. For a long time, I mistook silence for strength and independence. I now know that healing often begins with honesty.
Another practice that has helped me through difficult seasons is staying active. It is not always easy but reminding myself that I am doing it for my mental health gives me the motivation to move. Finding activities that bring joy, calm, or connection can make a meaningful difference. Whatever it is for you be it walking, dancing, running, painting, praying, or talking to someone you trust, hold onto it and do it consistently. Small positive habits can protect us from the quiet, self-destructive patterns that often creep in unnoticed.
This Mental Health Awareness Month, let us do more than post random posts. Let us check in on the people around us that we care about. Let us try to listen to others without judgment, speak whatever is in our hearts without shame, and seek help without fear of being misunderstood. Take time to listen to others. Create time to share with others.
It is okay to say you’re not ok.
